“Poor Things” Grade: A+ (97%)*
As y’all know, I watch every film nominated for “Best Picture” at the Academy Awards every year, and wow…this movie was near perfection. I enjoyed “Barbie” (which is also nominated for “Best Picture” and I gave it an A- 90%), but “Poor Things” takes the spotlight of criticism on a patriarchal society while celebrating a woman’s journey to understanding and self-identity within said society to an entirely new and unprecedented level. It’s dark, funny, and a total masterpiece in terms of cinematography, costume design, make-up, directing, and acting by Emma Stone. Every shot, sequence, and scene in the movie is so carefully thought out and oozes with much deeper meaning for those who like to leave the movies in deep thought and reflecting on the greater existential questions in life and present in the world around us. I will admit, I can envision a TON of machismo men (the general stereotype that loved “Top Gun: Maverick”) not understanding (and consequently not liking) the film, but ultimately not hating it because they got to see Emma Stone naked…A LOT; which is ironic and oh so perfect considering what the deeper commentary on men in society within the film is (again, this HAD to be a very conscious choice for all involved with the making of the movie to enhance its meaning). We don’t get an “all-time” film every year out of the Academy Award nominations, but “Poor Things” is a slam dunk for one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. Go check it out if you get the chance. It’s “Everything Everywhere All At Once”, “Frankenstein”, and “Barbie” all smashed together somehow.
“Scavenger’s Reign” (TV Series; Season 1) Grade: A (95%)
This sci-fi/fantasy animated show might legitimately be the “best” thing I’ve seen in the past year. Its got deep themes that are shown, not told, and its creativity is both literally and figuratively out of this world. If you enjoyed the series “Arcane”, “Scavenger’s Reign” belongs on that same level in almost every way. It’s only 12 episodes long (at 20-30 minutes per episode), so it’s easy to get through quick and leave you wanting more (as a matter of fact, I watched it twice all the way through in two weeks while winding down for bed). A true masterpiece.
“20 Days in Mariupol” Grade: A (95%)*
“Hogwarts Legacy” (Video Game) Grade: A (95%)
The Harry Potter universe is something that I’ve always enjoyed, though not one of my absolute favorite “Nerd Cultures” out there, it’s one that I’ve grown to love and appreciate for what it is (kind of like “Hunger Games”, “Doctor Who”, and “Star Trek”). This video game, however, is legitimately phenomenal, and I would even venture to say that it is the “best” piece of Harry Potter “Nerd Culture” that exists to date (“better” than the books, “better” than the movies, and yes, even “better” than the broadway production of “The Cursed Child” which was also phenomenal). It’s structured like “The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild” (which many regard as one of the best video games of all time; not me, but others) in that it gives you an open world of Hogwarts and all of the vast surrounding areas (like Hogsmeade, the Forbidden Forest, Hogsfield, and so much more) to explore however you wish (though I was partial to flying around on my broomstick). Where “Hogwarts Legacy” leaves similar RPG open-world games like “Breath of the Wild” in the dust is how much is packed into the game. The attention to detail is beyond incredible and the amount of side quests, magic-filled puzzles, and collectibles is downright astonishing. So why 95% instead of 100%? For all of the time and effort that the developers put into creating the most magnificently detailed Harry Potter universe experience for players, the main storyline is a bit dull. It’s not “bad”, but it’s not as compelling of a plot as it could have been. Still, it’s one of the most impressive video games that I’ve ever played and I’ll eagerly look forward to whatever DLC content that Portkey Games puts out in the future.
“The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom” (Video Game) Grade: A (94%)
If you loved “Breath of the Wild”, you will most assuredly go bonkers (in a good way) over TotK. Admittedly, I wasn’t the biggest fan of “Breath of the Wild”; it wasn’t a “bad” game by any means, it just wasn’t the “best video game of all time” like several of my gamer friends and acquaintances dubbed it. In terms of TotK, they basically took everything that was “wrong” with BotW and fixed it (except for weapons breaking…that’s still stupid af) and everything that was “good” about BotW and somehow made it even better. Just know, however, this is a game that you’ll easily sink more than a hundred hours into to get the full experience, so if you do NOT want a time commitment, you’ll want to look elsewhere. Otherwise, I encourage you to go ahead and enjoy this beautiful game.
“Past Lives” Grade: A- (91%)*
“Barbie” Grade: A- (90%)*
I’m somewhat at a loss for words here. Let’s start with the “feel” of the film. If you mixed “Deadpool” with “Trolls” and sprinkled in (quite literally) some Will Ferrell, you strangely get…Barbie? The movie is witty and quite clever in parts, and incredibly stupid in others, but overall, it works…really well…I guess. I love how uncomfortable the film makes patriarchal men feel (and rightfully so), but as a self-confident man who practices (as best I know how) and believes in the ideal of equality, I will say that the movie does veer off at times into what feels like unnecessary “man-hating”. Instead of ending in what seems to embrace an “eye for an eye” approach (e.g. Ha! That’s how you treated us (women) for so long, we are going to treat you just as poorly when we have the power), the film had an opportunity to embrace equality at the end to portray a better takeaway message, but passed it up, unfortunately. But aside from that, and Will Ferrell, it’s oddly a brilliant film. I can’t believe this is my first “A-list” movie of 2023, but here we are.
“Killers of the Flower Moon” Grade: A- (90%)*
A three-and-a-half hour movie that feels like five, with an incredibly slooooooow first hour and a half, but an amazing last two hours as a payoff. With some proper editing and cutting down of the first half of the movie, this could have been an all-time classic.
“Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes” Grade: A- (90%)/ C (74%) (depending on if you know anything about Hunger Games or not)
If you’re a well-versed fan of the Hunger Games series, this is a phenomenal character biopic of Coriolanus Snow. If you don’t know much about the Hunger Games series, a lot of this film won’t make sense and you’ll be left with a “meh” action movie.
“The Bear” (TV Series; Season 2) Grade: B+ (89%)
While Season 1 of this series was a slam dunk ‘A’-list entry for me, Season 2 brings a new approach in the fact that each episode is focused on one particular character from the show while slowly moving along an overarching narrative that isn’t as compelling as the first installment. I really enjoyed the character-biopic approach, but wished the larger narrative was more interesting. It’s still a really good show that doesn’t disappoint if you enjoyed Season 1, and I’ll definitely be looking forward to watching Season 3 when it comes out. Really really solid show.
“The Creator” Grade: B+ (89%)
Director Gareth Edwards (“Star Wars: Rogue One”) delivers on another great science-fiction film, however, the plot suffers at times with a couple of major holes in storytelling.
“Bobi Wine: The People’s President” Grade: B+ (89%)*
“Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny” Grade: B+ (88%)
I was fully prepared to mockingly call this the “Dial of Dogcrap” in my review before I saw it, but surprisingly…no, shockingly, the movie was actually…not bad. It’s easily the second-best Indy film in the franchise behind “The Last Crusade”, which is a complete 180 from the utter disaster that “The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” was in the 2000s. Sure, this last depiction of Indiana Jones by Harrison Ford had a couple of irksome plot holes in it, but by and large, the film captures the charm and at times, the goofiness of the original Indy trilogy while telling an interesting (albeit “Macguffin”-centric) story. It’s got great action throughout, a refreshing John Williams soundtrack, and is a solid, classic, fun summer “popcorn” flick that you won’t hate yourself for spending $10 to go see.
“Anatomy of a Fall” Grade: B+ (87%)*
“Godzilla Minus One” Grade: B+ (87%)
I appreciate the deeper themes and metaphors (e.g. Godzilla representing the protagonist’s past) in the film, but it misses my A-list because it does a lot of “telling” instead of “showing” (a big storytelling no-no in my book). I will say, besides “Avengers: Infinity War”, this film was easily better than any other Marvel film ever made when comparing super monster/hero movies.
“No Hard Feelings” Grade: B+ (87%)
This is about as good as a romantic comedy can be these days in the politically correct world that we live in; long gone are the days of “Wedding Crashers”, “The 40-Year-Old Virgin”, and “There’s Something About Mary”. This movie had its share of laughs and chuckles, it tickles some of the “feels” for the ladies, and there’s a beach fight scene that most of the guys will enjoy. Perfect summer date night movie for you and your special someone.
“Spider-Man: Across the Spider-verse” Grade: B (86%)*
This is probably the “best” Spiderman film since the original that featured Tobey Maguire a little over 20 years ago. It’s an animated film, but not like a cartoon or what most people traditionally think of when they hear “animated”. The art style and animation is absolutely stunning, and I’m calling it now, if this film doesn’t win “Best Animated Feature Film” in February/March of 2024, the Academy screwed up. If you’ve seen the beautifully done Netflix series “Arcane”, this film somehow puts that art and animation work in the backseat. The story is a bit predictable at times, and the film is clearly made with a target audience of Gen Z (considering the mind-spinning amount of quick cuts in editing; keeps the attention span of the TikTok generation), but it’s a marvel (heh…see what I did there?) to watch from an artistic perspective.
“Maestro” Grade: B (85%)*
“Super Mario Bros. Wonder” (Video Game) Grade: B (85%)
The online comparisons to classics like “Super Mario Bros. 3” (NES) and “Super Mario World” (SNES) are utter nonsense, but this is a solid entry to the series that can be a lot of fun when playing with other people.
“Star Wars: The Mandalorian” (TV Series; Season 3) Grade: B (85%)
Aside from the nonsensical throwaway episode with Jack Black in it, the presence of too many large monsters/alien beasts, and Grogu inexplicably warping between episodes 7 and 8, the latest foray into The Mandalorian mostly lived up to expectations. Moff Gideon is a formidable antagonist, though he only appears late in the season which is unfortunate. The plot isn’t super compelling, but if you’re one who enjoys an authentic Star Wars look, feel, and experience, season 3 won’t disappoint.
“Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 3” Grade: B (84%)
The original installment of this trilogy really set the bar high as it was easily one of the best Marvel films created, while the second installment was a complete disaster. This third (and perhaps last?) installment is a major step in the right direction and much more in line with the first Guardians film. The flashback story of Rocket is particularly compelling and the film recaptures the humor and imagination of the original. The plot, however, is just like almost every other Marvel film though, with a HEAVY reliance on McGuffins (e.g. a device or object that serves merely to trigger the plot). If you enjoyed the original Guardians, this is worth checking out.
“Ferrari” Grade: B- (83%)
This biopic of Enzi Ferrari can be a bit convoluted and confusing at times (especially during the racing scenes when you don’t really know which racers are Ferrari, and which racers are opponents since the cars are seemingly all red), but I could see Penelope Cruz getting a Best Supporting Actress nomination for the incredible work she did in this film, and Adam Driver does an excellent job as well, but the actual narrative falls a bit flat sometimes. Still a decent watch though if you see it on a streaming service in the future that you are already paying for.
“The Holdovers” Grade: B- (83%)*
I could easily see Paul Giamatti being nominated for ‘Best Actor’ in the upcoming Academy Awards for this film. The story would bore most if I’m being honest, as it’s a somewhat slow-moving emotional drama, but I’m not a hater of that genre.
“Air” Grade: B- (82%)
The story of how Nike convinced Michael Jordan to sign with their sneaker company back in the 1980s is a pretty decent film; and a good watch if you have an Amazon Prime account and can stream it at no additional cost. It had some neat nostalgic montages near the beginning of the film that I wish they would have kept throughout (whenever they needed to transition between scenes), and Matt Damon turns in yet another good acting performance. Although you know how the story will ultimately turn out in the end, the film still succeeds at building some drama. Chris Tucker’s performance was a bit over the top though, a clearly poor choice in casting…I mean, what did they think they were going to get out of Chris Tucker? He pretty much plays one caricature in everything he’s been in. Decent watch though if you just want to stay in and stream a movie.
“Oppenheimer” Grade: B- (81%)*
There’s a line in the film that goes something like this: “so, are you saying we are about to fire off the world’s biggest dud?” While the film isn’t terrible by any means, it feels like a dud considering all of the hype leading up to its release. There are some technical aspects that are A+ caliber (sound mixing, sound editing, cinematography, & editing), but the actual narrative of the film is underwhelming, confusing, and downright drawn out and boring at times. I went on the weekend and the theater was about half full, yet multiple people around me were quite literally snoring as they had fallen asleep, and I can’t really blame them. The film is 3 hours in length, but could have easily been 2 hours and still put audience members into a slumber. I still really enjoyed appreciating some of the technical aspects of the film, but many moviegoers would be MUCH more entertained by other movies in the theater right now (e.g. Mission Impossible, Indiana Jones, and apparently Barbie).
“Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” (TV Series; Season 10) Grade: B- (80%)
“The Boy and The Heron” Grade: C+ (79%)*
I’m thrilled that Hayao Miyazaki put out another film as I’m a huge fan of his, and I enjoyed the movie, but it doesn’t make my top tier of Miyazaki movies (“Spirited Away”, “Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind”, & “Castle in the Sky”). It belongs in my next tier down (“Princess Mononoke” & “Howl’s Moving Castle”).
“The Insurrectionist Next Door” Grade: C+ (78%)
This HBO documentary is done by Nancy Pelosi’s daughter, who seeks out several people who took part in the events of January 6th a few years ago and interviews them about their motives and reflects on whether they regret their actions or not in present day. If nothing else, the film makes one realize how many cognitively absent people we have in the United States.
“Castlevania: Nocturne” (TV Series; Season 1) Grade: C (76%)
Personally, I love the animated Castlevania franchise on Netflix, and this new spinoff is excellent to me. Are they “good” according to my grading criteria? No, not really…but I grew up loving the original video games (on NES, SNES, GBA, DS, and PlayStation), so even if it scored a lot lower to my rubric, I was able to thoroughly enjoy it.
“The Eternal Memory” Grade: C (75%)*
“American Fiction” Grade: C (75%)*
“Is It Cake, Too?” (TV Series; Season 2) Grade: C (75%)
This is a fun show on Netflix where bakers try to fool judges by creating super realistic cakes of actual objects. Of course, one by one, bakers are eliminated until one contestant reigns supreme and takes home a big cash prize. The bakers are extremely talented and even though you get to see them making their cakes, and you could swear you’ll easily be able to notice which object is their cake when placed next to the real counterpart object that inspired it, it’s almost impossible. It’s crazy. It’s not a show with any great deep takeaway, but it’s fun and entertaining.
“The Super Mario Bros. Movie” Grade: C (75%)
People seem to be either loving this movie or hating it…I’m right in the middle. The most prominent downside to me is that it is every generic kid’s movie plot reskinned with Mario characters and graphics, so there’s nothing really compelling from a narrative standpoint. The most prominent upside to the film is all of the neat Easter eggs littered in the background of the film for Mario (and Nintendo) enthusiasts (e.g. a pixelated picture of Mike Tyson from “Punch Out” in the pizzeria, a sign that says “Level 1-2” as Mario and Luigi go into the sewers under Brooklyn, the original “Super Mario Bros. Super Show” theme song from the 80s, and countless others all over the place). I personally really enjoyed it as a Nintendo and Mario fan boy, and my daughters loved it (aged 7 and 3; it was their very first time going to the theater). However, if you aren’t a Mario or Nintendo fan, I could see this being a brutally boring experience for you.
“Trolls: Band Together” Grade: C (75%)
It’s a kid’s movie and it’s the third installment in the franchise, so you can’t expect too much from a film like this. Being a Trolls movie, there’s some decent music in it, but personally, I’d say the second Trolls movie was better than this one…though neither is on par with the first movie.
“Cattails Wildwood Story” (Video Game) Grade: C (75%)
Sadly, this highly anticipated sequel did not live up to expectations. The original “Cattails” was essentially “The Legend of Zelda” meets “Stardew Valley”, and it was a slappin’ good time. “Wildwood Story” has a smaller world, less customization, and an abbreviated story. It’s okay, but doesn’t have any replay value at all, whereas its predecessor can be played over and over again without diminishing returns.
“Quarterback” (TV Series; Season 1) Grade: C (75%)
As a huge football fan, it’s always pretty neat to see any behind the scenes full access content (think Hard Knocks on HBO), but gosh, Brittany Mahomes is annoying af and her obnoxious scream seems to be the first thing that sticks out about this series. Camera crews followed quarterbacks Patrick Mahomes, Kirk Cousins, and Marcus Mariota last season and chronicled their on and off the field lives, but seeing as the Chiefs won the Super Bowl, the last three(ish) episodes (out of eight) quickly turned into a KC love fest, which as a Broncos fan, made me want to puke. The overall product is meh; if you are a big NFL fan, there’s some stiff you will enjoy, but if you don’t care for the NFL, this would be a colossal waste of your time.
“Real Time with Bill Maher” (TV Series; Season 21) Grade: C (75%)
“Arnold” (Limited Series) Grade: C (74%)
This documentary/limited series was very…”meh”, but maybe that’s because of personal bias; I’ve never really understood why some people are so enamored with big muscles…I mean, it’s a pretty strange concept to me that someone can go make millions of dollars and get famous by lifting weights and standing in underwear in front of large groups of people. But…whatever, I guess. It wasn’t a terrible biopic of Arnold Schwarzenegger, but much of his “inspiring” rags to riches/visualize and believe in yourself story was apparently predicated on words that his father told him: “No matter what you do in life, make yourself useful.” Arnold says that is how he lives his life, but honestly, how did he make himself useful with his muscles and bodybuilding? Sure, one could argue that all of that is what led him to money and a platform where he could get involved in politics, but that clearly wasn’t his goal in the beginning. I just call BS on his whole “make yourself useful” thing. If you like Arnold, I guess you’re probably going to watch this regardless, but if you are indifferent to him, I’d save your time and watch something else.
“Star Wars: The Bad Batch” (TV Series; Season 2) Grade: C (74%)
Both seasons of The Bad Batch have been pretty “meh” to be honest. They aren’t “bad”, but they aren’t nearly as compelling as other animated Star Wars series like “Rebels” and “Clone Wars”. If you’re a Star Wars fan and you’re looking for something to help you fall asleep, throw The Bad Batch on and let it take you to dreamland.
“Hard Knocks: 2023 New York Jets” Grade: C- (72%)
Normally, this show pretty consistently gets an even 75% from me over the years, but 2023’s rendition gets docked slightly because it really should be called “Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the New York Aaron Rodgers”, and without needing to get into much more detail, Aaron Rodgers is a weasel turd.
“Star Trek: Strange New Worlds” (TV Series; Season 2) Grade: C- (70%)
I rather enjoyed Season 1 of this show, but Season 2 misses the mark on so many levels. Why change up a good formula that was established in Season 1? The first season was kooky and funny and charming with great acting and some really creative plotlines. This season took that and injected steroids or shrooms or something that made it not good. A musical episode and Spock and his girlfriend changing bodies with each other are only a small taste of the not-good eccentricity of this follow-up season. Hopefully, the showrunners go back to what actually worked in season 1 when they create season 3.
“Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part I” Grade: D+ (67%)
Let me succinctly sum up this nearly 3-hour movie…here’s a MacGuffin that doesn’t make sense, let’s chase Tom Cruise, get a quick breather from the action to remind the audience there’s a MacGuffin that makes no sense, oh wait, chase Tom Cruise! Breather. MacGuffin still makes no sense. Make Tom Cruise run! MacGuffin! Chase Tom Cruise! You get the point. From a storytelling perspective, the film is awful. It tries to be clever in a very “who has the MacGuffin during this 3-hour chase” sense, but because the MacGuffin doesn’t make sense itself, the critically-minded audience member is left thoroughly annoyed and bored. The action sequences, however, are extremely well put together and entertaining. So here’s my advice…if you’re the kind of person who goes to the movies to turn your brain off, munch some popcorn, and watch some cool action, you’ll probably LOVE this movie. If you’re the kind of person who goes to the movies to stimulate your brain and make you reflect on some sort of greater meaning, seriously save your money and time…you’d HATE this movie. Perhaps put in a more simple way, if you liked “Top Gun: Maverick”, you’ll like “MI: Dead Reckoning Part One”, but if you didn’t care for “TG: Maverick” too much, you won’t care for this either.
“Ahsoka” (TV Series; Season 1) Grade: D (65%)
Simply put, the writing and plot points of this show are awful and insulting. The show’s entire premise is based on a non-sensical MacGuffin (those that have watched the show and are ready to defend it…answer me this: who created the map to Thrawn and why?). Also, speaking of Thrawn, why is he feared so much? He has no Force powers, not many troops at his disposal, and only one duct-taped together Star Destroyer to use. Those who have watched “Rebels” (an excellent series by the way) know that Thrawn and Ezra jumped to hyperspace to this other far-away galaxy via star whales while being subject to the cold vacuum of space; how did they survive that journey being in outer space? This is never explained nor touched upon in the show. Oh, and stormtrooper zombies? Seriously? And Baylan Skoll and his apprentice are strangely missing from the season finale after playing a prominent role throughout the series even though we have no idea who they are? Not sure what Dave Filoni is going to do with that in season 2 considering the actor who played Skoll passed away a few months ago, but I’m sure they’ll come up with some lazy plot point that makes no sense to explain it. Anyway, I could go on and on about how truly terrible the writing is, but alas, you’re not here to read a novel. So why didn’t I give the show an ‘F’? Because, admittedly, the visuals in the show are indeed stunning. The acting is terrible as well (I mean, come on…when Hayden Christensen as Anakin is the best-acted part, that’s all you gotta know). Unfortunately, I think the Star Wars IP has gotten to the point where modern fans don’t actually care about good writing and deep storytelling; if it’s got lightsabers and explosions and space battles, that’s considered “good”. “Ahsoka” (as well as “Obi-Wan”, “Book of Boba Fett”, and even “Mandalorian”) are a faaaaaar cry away from the original ethos and quality of classic Star Wars, which actually was centered around deep, sophisticated storytelling, and where lightsabers and explosions and space battles were auxiliary components instead of primary draws.
“Nimona” Grade: D (65%)*
“Napoleon” Grade: D (64%)
Considering this was a Ridley Scott (“Gladiator”, “The Martian”, “Alien”, “Bladerunner”, “House of Gucci”, “Legend”, & “Black Hawk Down”) film starring Joaquin Phoenix, expectations were reasonably high. Simply put, this movie was an absolute disaster. Boring, historically inaccurate, poorly acted, and an utter waste of time. I mean, I guess the costumes were good…
“Creed III” Grade: D- (63%)
Unfortunately, this was a cheesy, super predictable film with a bunch of “two-dimensional” characters that are difficult to get invested with. Not much else to say here except there are better uses of your time than watching this.
“Star Trek: Picard” (TV Series; Season 3) Grade: D- (62%)
Admittedly, I never watched season 2 because so many friends told me that it was one of the worst seasons of a TV series in existence, but gosh…worse than this? Season 3 of Picard was apparently designed as a stand-alone drawn-out 8-episode movie of sorts to give The Next Generation crew a final send-off. The first half of the show was actually really decent, but it quickly goes the way of sci-fi/fantasy disasters like “Rings of Power”, “Obi-Wan”, and “Game of Thrones” (Season 7) in the second half. It’s really stunning, actually, to see how fast and how badly the show photon torpedoes itself. If you have friends who are Lord of the Rings fans, you tell them NOT to watch “Rings of Power”. If you have friends who are Star Wars fans, you tell them NOT to watch “Obi-Wan”. If you have friends who are just starting Game of Thrones, you tell them NOT to watch the final season. If you are a Star Trek fan, I’m telling you NOT to watch the final season of Picard; the ending is AWFUL.
“The Zone of Interest” Grade: F (55%)*
“Four Daughters” Grade: F (50%)*
