Boobies and Brainwashing Part I
I went out to lunch with three of my male friends a couple of weeks ago, and as such, it didn’t take long for one of them to start the “Marry one, Fuck one, Kill one” game using women that we all know (and coincidentally, women who I know for a fact will read this). The game is usually more tame when using celebrities or figures that nobody knows personally, but the stakes and consequent practice of objectification increase when using close friends or family members.
After the initial three women were selected by the friend who started the game, my other two friends played along, justifying their reasons for “killing” their preferred choice with logic such as: “[Woman A] might be slightly more attractive, but I bet [Woman B] gives much better blowjobs because of how much of a loud mouth she is. Plus it would be fun to shut her up for a minute with my cock, so I would definitely keep [Woman B] alive.” Regarding the ‘Fuck one’ option, one friend said: “[Woman C] is definitely the hottest and she’s quiet, so I’d marry her, and no question I would fuck [Woman B]. She seems like the type that would like an anger bang. [Woman A] is just a bitch, and I’d love to be the guy who puts her in her place by killing her.”
To my friends’ surprise (because I’m the type who loves hypothetical questions, moral debate, and ‘would you rather’ situations), I refused to partake in the game. Instead of going in-depth as to the reasons why I wouldn’t participate (mainly because I’m confident it would have been a massive waste of time and energy given these specific friends), I simply just said: “I don’t think it’s right.” The rest of the car ride was silent, and when we arrived at our destination and got out of the car, one of my friends apologized if they upset me and assured me that they were just joking around. You know, “boys being boys”, “locker room talk”, that sort of “harmless” endeavor.
The problem, however, is that while such silly boy games appear to be harmless on the surface, they are quite disturbing and destructive on a more subconscious level. The fact that the “Marry one, Fuck one, Kill one” game was so readily accepted and enjoyed by those three male friends should be an alarming red flag – a microcosm of the male-dominated societal construct we so proudly salute with National Anthems and Pledges of Allegiance. God forbid a non-white male takes a knee during our song and dance to ironically (and of course, metaphorically) stand up to the injustices happening around us. But I digress, this blog isn’t about Colin Kaepernick or law enforcement profiling. It’s about gender discrimination.
According to dictionary.com, ‘discrimination’ is defined as: ‘the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people or things, especially on the grounds of race, age, sex, [or belief].’
On January 21st, there were “Women’s Marches” happening not just across the United States, but all around the world, and they stirred up quite a bit of controversy in the social media sphere around the perception of whether women were actually being discriminated against or not. And while I wasn’t surprised by the large white-male backlash that was out there (they are, after all, the primary perpetrators of female subjugation), I was surprised by the number of women who supported the white-male backlash and claimed that discrimination against females was all but gone – a thing of the past, and were quick to label the women partaking in these marches as “angry, radical feminists” who were just “looking for an excuse to bash males”.
Unfortunately, as is the case with any movement or protest, there is a small contingent (5-10%) who identify with the radical end of the spectrum, and go to extreme displays or employ hyperbole in speech to get their point across. The media flocks to these individuals because they know it will garner ratings or “click-bait” on the internet, resulting in more ad revenue for their company. In turn, what the media puts out there is in no way accurate to the reality of what is going on, yet many people who read / watch these stories are quick to generalize and condemn those who support the ideas associated with awareness movements such as the “Women’s March”.
But my fascination comes in why any woman would be opposed to an awareness march for the discrimination that exists against their kind. At first, I wondered if it was only white women who argued against it, but that wasn’t the case. Of the first 10 women on my social media feed that I found who vehemently opposed the “Women’s March”, 3 were Hispanic, 1 was African-American, and 6 were White. Age also wasn’t a factor as the age range of these 10 women spanned anywhere from 20 years-old to 67 years-old. I did, however, find two common threads that all 10 women had in common. 1. They all identified themselves as ‘Conservative’ or ‘Republican’ (less important of the factors to me) & 2. They were all either married to or in a serious relationship with a white male who had a steady and secure job allowing the minimum of a middle-class or higher living (the more important factor to me).
It was easier for women who were entrenched in the privileged white-male culture to say they haven’t experienced discrimination in their lives, or that they believed it didn’t exist. One of the 10 women’s husband (ironically) was one of the three friends playing the “Marry one, Fuck one, Kill one” game in my car. But I guarantee every single one of those 10 women has experienced gender-based discrimination recently (if not daily, then at the very least weekly). Another one of the 10 women who claimed that she’s never experienced gender-based discrimination and took an extremely strong stand against women marching on January 21st, so far as to call them “whiny feminist losers”, should probably put a foot in her mouth considering her husband posted this gem on his social media account seeing that Valentine’s Day is approaching:
Again, the problem here – I believe – is that some women (primarily those entrenched in privileged white-male culture) wouldn’t see this as discrimination (please reference the dictionary.com definition above if you are one of these women). The same as they wouldn’t see a “cat-call” as discrimination, or men playing the “Marry one, Fuck one, Kill one” game as discrimination.
Another funny, and relevant story. I happened to be watching the Super Bowl with one of the 10 women who felt the concept of female-based discrimination in America was ridiculous. There was an ad that touched on the subject which set her off. Here’s a link to the ad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6u10YPk_34
The advertisement wasn’t even over before she starting saying that it was a “crock of crap” and it was “amazing the lies that they (whoever ‘they’ are) would put out there” about women being inferior to men.
I kept my mouth shut (for the most part), but after the Super Bowl was over, we were all hanging out in the kitchen and a ‘Would you rather’ question came up. The same woman who was offended by the car commercial promptly said: “Be careful, you don’t want to play this game with [MD], he asked me the hardest question last summer…just terrible.” With a wrinkled brow, I tried to remember, and naturally, someone else asked what the question was. “He asked me, as a girl, would you rather have a perpetual yeast infection for the rest of your life, or gain 60 pounds that you could never lose.” Everybody at the Super Bowl party got a confused look on their face and one of the other women present said: “That’s easy. The 60 pounds.” The woman who didn’t believe female-based discrimination existed in America quickly shot back: “No way! You know how much harder it would be to be fat in our society?” I really should have held my tongue, but I couldn’t help myself. I said: “But yet, you don’t think there’s discrimination against women in America?” She tried to rationalize her answer by saying that the same level of discrimination would exist if a man gained 60 pounds, but everybody in the room disagreed with her.
On the car ride home (I rode with her and her boyfriend to the Super Bowl party), she formally admitted that “discrimination is going to happen no matter where you go or who you are, okay? You just have to accept it. It’s not a big deal.” Word. For. Word. What if that’s what all the slaves said? What if that’s what all of the Jews in Nazi Germany said? What if that’s what Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony said?
But they’re just “cat-calls”, it’s just “boys being boys” playing the “Marry one, Fuck one, Kill one” game, they’re just “funny” Valentine’s memes. They’re “harmless”. “You just have to accept [them]”.
Well, that’s it for Part I of this blog post. In Part II, I will go more in-depth to why gender-based discrimination happens all over the world, and what it would take for discrimination (in general) to go away completely using the studies of scholars, psychologists, and philanthropists. As always, thanks for reading and please, if you ever use me or my beautiful wife in the “Marry one, Fuck one, Kill one” game, don’t tell us about it. 🙂